Making hard choices

(a little picture of Howard my boyfriend, on one of our walks to the purbecks)

The last few weeks have been abit of a blur, I've finally settled into my uni work and I feel like I'm finally getting into it, but it's been abit of a struggle just trying to put my ideas into words and actually start somewhere in my project. I've been struggling a little last week with my anxiety and pulling myself together again but that's a whole different story.

Last month I started Blogtober and I LOVED it. I didn't actually post every single day, but I attempted it. I also realised my potential, my followers grew, my content got better and I was really seeing the stat's rise. People started contacting me about being a part of this blogging community that I knew about but I was never really part of. I was just a girl who blogged every now and then because it was something that I liked doing from time to time.

But last month made me realise my real potential and I'm not saying I'm going to be the next huge blogger, but  it made me think about my last job and what it was that I adored about it and that's social media marketing. It made me passionate again after university killed it for me.

I also work weekend's at a local bistro behind the bar, which does take up a lot more time than you think it does. I no longer had time for my boyfriend who is a photographer and we started creating stuff for my blog and it was so nice to do something together. But because of his full time job and my job we never get to go out and explore the beautiful places we have around us here in Dorset.

So a few days ago I sent my notice in and I've decided to leave my job. Which is huge. I worked out that I can survive on my student loan but it just means I have to be a lot more careful on my spending but also trying to make money from what I love the most. I'm not saying I'm going to jump into freelance straight away, I've still got a degree to finish but for me it's a breath of fresh air and it's what is going to make me happy. I'm going to miss the people I work alongside, but there's nothing stopping me from doing fun things more often now.

Inside I'm terrified, its scary knowing I will have to sort of live like a student again, watching my budget and not being able to afford the nice things that I love so much. But I'm sacrificing all that for time. Time to spend enjoying my boyfriend's company in our lovely home. Time to focus on activities and work that I love to do, Time to go on adventures and explore the world around me.

It's going to be hard to cut back, I say this like I have so much money but a little bit does make a difference, it's going to be stuff but cutting down isn't always such a bad thing. It's all very exciting and I'm excited to start my life up again and decide what exactly it is I want to do when I leave university. I'm looking forward to just focus'ing on me again and what makes me happy.

Thanks for reading as always,